Decline overall test fear and amuse students previous to exams!
I hope this goes without saying, but if an SAT prep company can’t write ads in English (this was either translated by a free online translation website, or someone wrote copy and then used Word’s thesaurus to change every word to a “smarter sounding” word. . . or both!) then don’t entrust said company with your test prep needs. To do so would “severely dismember your fortune.”
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Haaaaaaaaaaaahahahhahaha.
You know, I laughed when I read your description, laughed more when I read the actual ad and then I laughed even harder when I saw that you’d tagged it with “disturbing.”